Monthly Archives: July 2011

Silly

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Big Brother pretending to be an elephant (he actually came to me, held the lego to his nose, and said “look, el-phant”….score!) and Little Man pretending to be me.  Silly little boys.

Um, yes, please disregard both the clean and dirty laundry piled high in the background.  We keep it real ’round here with the messy house and cell phone posts ;-)

Shaved

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Little Man decided to give himself a haircut, so we ended up shaving his head.  Big Brother wanted to match.  With daily heat indices over 100 and humidity that makes me flash back to Saigon, I think it was a good idea.

Under

the sea pool.

Little Man’s new passion in life is snorkeling…in the pool, in the ocean, in the bathtub.  Doesn’t matter to him.  As long as there is water, he will be face down with a mask and snorkel.  He said he wants to be a scuba diver like mommy and daddy ;-)

Celebrations

We spent the entire weekend partying with the fam….

We started the celebrations off with dinner Friday evening:

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This was Big Brother’s fortune:

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Sunday the kids partied in honor of their cousin who turned 8!

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A scary glimpse into the future:

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The 3 hour ride home:

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Sunday evening we came home, dropped off the suitcases and headed downtown for a bbq and bluegrass festival, which was just lovely!

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Whew, we’re tired but happy. It’s been a good weekend! Hope yours was wonderful, too.

Welcome to the Family!

Happy Adoption Day, Big Brother!  What a happy day it is!

Outside the court house after the finalization…the happy new family of four:

Mommy and Big Brother patiently waiting our turn in the courtroom:

This is Little Man’s “I’m trying really hard to be quiet” face, lol:

Six months and a welcomed first

Six months ago we stepped off of a plane in {our town}, weary and jetlagged. I held the hand of a child who had mentally and emotionally shut down long before he ever set eyes on me. During the entire 18 hours of air time home, he only occasionally made a single sound…a low growling grunt. He never once looked at me. He sobbed constantly during the few hours he managed to sleep on the plane. It was not the cry of a child, but a low, sad whine that is impossible to attribute to anything less than a cry of pure trauma. I secretly feared the weeks ahead. I wondered who exactly would it be that crawled out that shell. Would he be gentle and sweet? Would he be a raging mess? Would he even come out at all? Would he reject me and his new family? Who was hiding inside? I was scared of all the unknowns.

As the weeks passed, I realized that Big Brother’s transition home was going to be a long one. He had trouble understanding what had just happened to him. He had trouble understanding rules and boundaries and he had trouble understanding how to function outside of an institution. He was scared. He was stressed out. He would get up in the mornings and pace the house for hours, looking for a way out, acting as if we didn’t even exist. He cried and whined over every tiny thing. Screaming was his only form of communication. He gorged himself on food and water until he made himself sick. He hid food to eat later. He drank anything that was remotely in liqud form. Slowly he began learning English. Slowly he began to learn rules and consequences. Slowly he began to learn that he was in a family and that this was different than before. Slowly, a sweet, eager-to-learn, affectionate child emerged complete with his own little personality. In a way, it feels as if we have just met since the “real” Big Brother has just recently made an appearance.

The real Big Brother has no problem making eye contact with his family. The real Big Brother has become clingy and affectionate at home. The real Big Brother knows that food will always be available. The real Big Brother plays with his brother on occasion, but always follows his lead. The real Big Brother can express his needs in words. The real Big Brother stays by my side all.day.long and never wants to be out of my site now. The real Big Brother feels safe and loved. The real Big Brother feels happy. The real Big Brother has a long road ahead of him, but we are not scared or anxious.

He has made more progress in the last six months than I thought he would make in two years. If you have been around us in real life, I think you can see this clearly. I could not ask for more.

But tonight, for the first time, I got more.

I have been tutoring in the evenings after hubby gets home from work. Tonight when I returned home, I was telling Little Man hello. Big Brother heard my voice, came running to where I was, smiled, ran up to me for a hug and said “mommy home.” He leapt into my arms and it was one of the greatest feelings in the world.

My heart exploded.

I cried.

I secretly sighed a huge sigh of relief.

I grinned from ear to ear, then reminded myself that while it’s nice to celebrate, there is still more work to be done.

I’m still giddy. It might have taken six months, but it was so WORTH it. All the hard work, all the sacrifice, all of it. Totally worth it. Being Big Brother’s mommy is hard and exhausting, beyond the limits of parenting a typical child. But in many ways it is so rewarding. He has a heart of gold and it gives me strength to keep on going.

Happy six months to special little boy who has taught me that there is nothing life can throw at you to ever take away the joy that lives inside your soul. My goofy, singing boy who always keeps me on my toes…I truly love you more than you could ever know. In one more day, you will officially become one of us and I couldn’t be more excited.