Monthly Archives: October 2011

Good news

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IEP meeting was spectacular! We love Big Brother’s team and they love him! It is clear they are dedicated to meeting his needs. Such a blessing for us. I will share some more when I have time to post, but we were pleasantly surprised with the results of his evals. For now, enjoy a sneak peak into the ways my boys are so special in their owns ways….Big Brother has become mommy’s little cello player and Little Man is now daddy’s little fisherman. More to come!!

A divine little guest

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This not-so-little visitor has been living on our back deck for days now.  Little Man finally decided to give him a proper welcome.  These cool little creatures have been viewed all throughout history as spiritual symbols.  They have been called divine messengers of God and have also thought to bring good luck to whomever they land on.  Could it be a sign that a good week is in store?  I hope so!

This is the post

where I lay it all out there….well, sort of, anyways.

So, Big Brother and preschool. I have so much to say about it and so many thoughts swirling around my head. We decided to put Big Brother in preK two days a week like Little Man. Our main motivation is that we are……drum roll please…….FINALLY at a point where I can safely and confidently say we are headed down the road of attachment. Real attachment. In the last month we have seen the signs we have been waiting desperately to see. Don’t get me wrong, we still have a long ways to go, but I feel confident allowing him to be in a school environment. We also feel that his complete lack of social skills necessitated a school setting for progress to be made.

Just as I expected, however, Big Brother has used every moment of school time to test his new teachers to their limit. Let’s put it this way…..their biggest challenges have been getting him to sit in a chair for ANY length of time (I’m talking 10 seconds here), getting him to keep his clothes on (yes, you read that correctly) and not saying poopy repeatedly for hours on end (otherwise known as verbal stemming). Now, let me also be clear…..he does not do these things at home. At home, he usually follows the rules and is an easy going, sweet child. Seriously. So how did I know he would act this way at school? He always does when I’m not around or when we are out and I am not giving him full attention (like when I am talking to another adult). We feel it is his way to show adults that he does not trust them and that he is in control, and that it is also an anxiety response that comes from feeling like he is in an unsafe environment. When I’m around, presto, everything goes back to normal.

So, I am hoping that once he feels safe at school, that sweet little boy will emerge. I just have a gut feeling, however, that it could take a long, long time for that to happen. He was institutionalized for four years. He’s not fond of returning to a institutional like setting right now. Also, when he is like this, he cannot learn. I know that at this point in time, he can learn best from me because he trusts me. So, school will be kept to a minimum for now, just so he can get some outside social interractions.

Big Brother’s IEP meeting is on Wednesday and I am scared to death. I wish so badly that I could bottle up that sweet little boy in order to show the whole world who he really is, not this crazy wall he builds against the outside world.

Every time I start to feel discouraged, I think back to a mom I heard speak at the empowered to connect comference. She had a son much like Big Brother who is now a grown man. Although his speech is limited, he likes to tell his story to other adoptive parents. The part that got me was when he says “when you see your child, don’t ever give up, your child is in there…..fight for them.”

Yes, yes I will. Because I know that sweet, precious boy inside. I want so badly for the world to see what I see.

Bros

I love….

how Little Man insists that they wear matching pj’s as much as possible

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how he makes Big Brother sit with him during a movie (even though Big Brother does not watch/like tv at all)

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how he talks Big Brother into doing just about anything

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and how Little Man always asks to stop and pose with Big Brother so that mommy can take a picture (in his tried and true classic pose of “arm around the neck”)

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Oh Little Man, you are an eccentric one…..as exemplified by insisting on “chopping wood” in mommy’s boots today

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Life is never boring with these two around. Throw in a daring flying squirrel rescue in our backyard this morning (long story) and you have a typical day in the life of our family. I’m thinking life couldn’t get much better. School post coming soon….