The other night I laced up my shoes as I geared up for my nightly run (my soles4souls 5K is coming up on Saturday, eek!) My mind was heavey and loaded with things that can’t be spoken into life on this blog. Luckily I was running with a dear friend who does get it….the hard stuff that comes with parenting a deeply traumatized child.
As we ran in the summer heat, a storm rolled in. We kept running. We became soaked and decided to turn around as not to put ourselves in danger, but we still managed to finish our run. There was a part of me that welcomed the storm with open arms.
I couldn’t help but think of how running in this storm served as a great metaphor for my life right now. I could have easily avoided the storm, but instead decided to run straight into it. I embraced the reality of the rain as it pelted my skin, the wind as it pushed strongly against my body, the thunder as it echoed through my ears. I felt strong, calm. As the storm raged around me, I secretly felt free. This is where I wanted to be, I thought to myself, in a place of personal calm as the storm of life rages around me.
You see, I have been avoiding the raging storm in my own life. Not because I don’t see it, but because I have been paralyzed by fear and denial. But today I have chosen to run in head first, to be embraced by the raging storm…to enter it and walk through it in hopes of coming out the other side better than when I entered it.
My child with special needs who came from a history of profound trauma needs more help than I can give. Today, I sought out that help and it was an extremely difficult thing to do.
I have faith that there will be beauty after the storm. But you can’t get to the other side without first venturing through the chaos and turmoil. So while the storm may rage, we will walk hand-in-hand, knowing that the beauty of the aftermath awaits us just around the bend…
“I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.” ~ Unknown